Love is hard

Who, what, why, where, when, how?
These are thee components ov Astory; thee contractions.
WHAT is thee most important; WHAT is thee vision;
E must maintain integrity to thee vision in addressing thee other components.
E beleif that thee components are autonomous spirits not created by E, but channeled by E.
For this reason E is adopting thee identity of thee vessel ov thee vision (E) and not the identity ov its master.
E's autonomy is ov greatest significance when surrending to thee autonomy ov thee vision.
E is thee artist, vessel of thee muse. E does not see succes ov thee project as attainment of thee goal, but as surrender to thee autonomy ov thee vision and thee finer forces ov its creation.
E cannot stop writing nor cease thee exploration; E is in labour, E is obsessive. E must commit to thee creation above all else.
E struggled to create thee identity ov thee normal man, but succeeded only in Es surrender to thee vision.
There is a popular post-modern idea that there is not one self, but multiple selfs. E sees this as a lie - self is a force, not an object. E is thee force ov thee vision, and E's selfs are simply thee direction of force. Only false selfs need multiple selfs, in order to excuse their falsehoods. E knows no other identity, no bounds, but thee perameters ov thee vision. This is E's self-imposed incarceration, and exile. E's identity is not a mask, but an acceptance.
WHAT then? Astory ov thee shattered self; disadvantage, disillusion, disenfranchisement, thee gods of thee expanding reality, thee great liberators.
E is at war with thee lore of majority, with thee 'Slavish Imposition'. E hides the debris of E's life to avoid thee persecution and indoctrination ov thee "normal" "people" who surround E. E is a writer, living a solitary life, and does not connect to thee desires ov others so easily. E respect little but artistic integrity, in a time when conformity, status and property is most respected. Worse, E feels reluctant to reveal Es artistic identity because it will not earn these things. E looks to thee future and does not see security but a community ov like minded individuals with limitless identity, explorers and visionaries.
E was born when thee Clash died, when Punkism died as a fashion, and thee rave scene was born. E grew as thee counter-cultures died. And E remembers.....thee Falklands war and thee collapse ov industry saw thee birth ov thee National Front, and the Iraq war and thee collapse ov welfare has seen thee birth of the BNP. E knows well the reactionary hate ov resenting thee fortune ov others. E knows hate is easy, and love is hard.

Disillusion, disadvantage, disenfranchisement, these are thee cradle ov E's love. These are thee tutors and thee guardians ov freedom. "Abandon hope all who enter here" is carved upon E's heart, and thee image is carved upon E's chest. Those that cannot abide these harsh lessons seek thee greater good; thee Nationality, thee Race, thee Culture. Those that have been awakened by them turn to thee human spirit for guidance, to themselves, to thee heart. To thee inner eye that see's beyond promise, and language, and control. To thee heart that breaks thee shelves ov ones own library, and writers upon thee walls ov ones own home.

E's identity is self-serving. E beleif in self-sufficiency, self love, and thee rejection of all other philosophy; as a matter of strategy E rejects thee importance ov material possessions and honors thee extension ov love. To feel others as self, and be felt by others as self.

Those that forget thee past are doomed to repeate it; E has been angered by it, and E repeates its anger. E has been sorrowed by it, and in Es heart carries this sorrow as E's gift. E know that E must never forget its darkness, but illuminate it.

Dark times grow darker; oil will run out before we can confront thee foolishness of "climate change"; government will fall apart before it can finish fighting its independent terrorists. Thee greater goods will all be graced by thee gods of disillusionment as every E must find their own ethic, their own politic, their own code, for thee sake ov their own love for thee whirld. There will be no direction but thee direction ov ones own heart.

E has been argueing for some time with a learned friend about politics. E has never voted because E beleif that thee politics of life are universal, and so does not comprehend thee politics of different parties. E knows, however, that one party controlled by those in power would be totalitarian. Nevertheless, only 24% of thee country votes, and thee largeest party is thee party ov non-voters. Everyone is becoming disillusioned, and distrustful. Thee new prime-minister, Gordon Brown, recently revealed that he will be appointing members of other parties as his advisors, demonstrating a "new style ov government". Thee government is weak, and is working together to bolster its strength.

E thinks that these advisors are thee way forward - unity, collaboration.

But E sticks to E's guns, and E's motto:

Every act with intent

E does not trust thee actions ov thee new government, as E sees them as life support for a dieing paradigm, and reactionary in nature.

On a personal level, E's attempt to become stronger through dedication to work and fitness, while done with intent, were also reactionary. E's intent was fuelled by rage, a powerful force, but they obscured E's pain. E cannot remember who E is beyond this pain, and it seems obvious that most peope spend their lives obscuring theirs. E's intent is to act with love, out ov pleasure. Browns intent is to act with fear, out ov fear. We may yet see more ov thee totalitarian influence in our governing.